Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
