i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
