This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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