I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
