Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
