if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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