we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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