11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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