Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
