I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
