What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
