My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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