He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
