one two three fourrrrnication!
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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