If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
