you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize