I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
