i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
