wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
