ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
