Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
