Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
