Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
