Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize