the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
