Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
