Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
