Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
