i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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