problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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