boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
