The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
