im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
