WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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