Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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