so that wasnt chicken after all
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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