I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
