So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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