he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
