Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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