It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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