I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
