After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
