Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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