At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
