I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
