I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
so much tequila, so little girl.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
