ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
