I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
