i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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