You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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