She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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