Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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