Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
