About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
