Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize