So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
