I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
What a dumb baby whore.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
false alarm, still single
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
