Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
