I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
why do cheetos always look like penises
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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