Where is the hickey?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
