I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
