escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
