I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
