we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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