I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She's the barista slut.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
