the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
