o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
