His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
