you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Randomize
