so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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