Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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