Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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