you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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