I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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